Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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