i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
