Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize