A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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