Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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