No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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