Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
