so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
