Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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