Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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