and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
