I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize
