I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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