her vagine was all disorganized.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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