I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
