hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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