i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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