I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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