It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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