we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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