oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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