This girl is more easily done than said...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
