How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize