Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
