i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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