"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
