is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
