Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
