I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
