Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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