Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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