I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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