they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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