we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
