And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He passed out mid-signature
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
