i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
