whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
