Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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