I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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