I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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