I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
