do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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