If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
