i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
