Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
