He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
