after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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