Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I cut my penus on the lid.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
