I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
