i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
