After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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