guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
