her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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