Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
