So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
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I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
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If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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