I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize