Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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