Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
