he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my liver is dry heaving
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
