I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize