Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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