We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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