you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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