Do vagina's smell?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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